Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Resolution

Normally, I do not do New Year's resolutions.  I think they are over-rated and a waste of time.  Most people never manage to do them or they make their goals so high that they are unachievable. However, after reading many a resolution from various friends this year, I have decided to give it a shot.  I mean, after all, what can it hurt?

So what are my resolutions for this year? 

My main resolution is to organize our home and lives.  To get rid of the unnecessary and unwanted.  To make neat, useful and beautiful those things we choose to live with.  I want to stop living in a life of chaos and clutter and start living a normal, happy, ORGANIZED life.  This will not be an easy task but it is something I have been wanting to do for a very long time!

My other resolution for this year is to create a better, well-rounded me.  I want to work on myself, my attitude, my views.  My plan in achieving this goal is to read once a day something inspiring, something educational, something that will make me stop and think about life and myself and how to make those things better.  This one won't be the easiest or the hardest resolution to manage but I think it will be very helpful and a lot of fun.

I am also commiting myself to complete a project this year of 365 days in Photographs.  I think it will be fun to document our lives and our thoughts with this project.  This will be a big commitment for me but I also think it is a manageable commitment.

I have a few goals for my kids and also have college to work on throughout this year that will keep me busy.  I look forward to starting these things and doing my best at them as I enter 2010.  With God's helping guidance I know that I can complete them easily.

Happy New Year to all!!


These thoughts have been weighing on my mind for quite some time now.

I have two daughters.  Two beautiful little girls.  Both blonde.  Both with the most gorgeous smiles.  The oldest has brown eyes, the youngest blue.  Their personalities are a lot alike and yet oh so different.  They love to sing... they love to play... they love to dance.

To other's eyes they appear "normal", and rightfully so.  They are "normal" for the most part.  They live what appears to be normal lives, they have normal laughs, they like the same things that every "normal" child likes.  But they are far from "normal".  You see, both my precious daughters have been blessed with a disorder called Epilepsy.

"Blessed?", you say.  Yes, I call it blessed.  There are far worse things they could have been burdened with.  This is surely not the worst of things to have, but it is there none-the-less.  It LOOMS over us daily.  It can make the "normal" go into "chaotic" in seconds.  We have no idea when this disorder will choose to strike.  But still I say, it could be worse.  This we can live with, this we can deal with.

Epilepsy is a disorder, not a disease.  It can not be contracted, though it can be, as ours is, inherited.  This disorder was passed to my little girls by me, passed to me by my mother and to her by her father.  Someday it will possibly be passed onto my daughter's own children, though I daily pray not.  But if it is, we can deal with it, we can live with it.

How do we deal with this disorder?  By keeping our environment controlled and staying on a routine.  It's important that both my girls get plenty of rest, that they eat a healthy meal three times daily and drink enough fluids. That they attempt to live a "normal" life.  Pushing them beyond their limits is a no-no in our lives.  Where your child may become whiny and unruly, mine can do the same, plus end up seizing.  Keeping them calm, showing them love and "controlling" their life keeps their lives as "normal" as can be. 

I have made them aware that they are "normal" yet they are "not normal" children.  They know they have a disorder.  They know to rest when they feel tired.  To be quiet when someone is sleeping.  Not to keep on going when their mind feels exhausted.  They are aware of being careful not to fall, and especially not hitting their sweet heads.  The things "normal" parents take for granted, I have to be sure my children are careful doing.  My girls are ok with these things.  They know this is the life God has chosen for them to lead.

I am proud of my daughters.  Proud of the things they are overcoming daily.  My oldest has been off her seizure medication for almost two years now.  Her Epilepsy is controlled through routine and a safe enviroment, as well as plenty of rest.  My youngest hasn't had a seizure in months, though there is still plenty of seizure activity and her medication is still necessary to help her lead a "normal" life.  Both of them are developmentally on track.  Both of them are growing into the most beautiful little girls.  Both of them are blessings in our families lives.

So you see, this is why I say Epilepsy, to us, is a blessing.  It has helped us to look at the "un-normal", to accept the burdens God gives.  It has provided for us a life that without Epilepsy, would be completely "normal".  It could be so much worse!  But this disorder we can deal with, we can LIVE with it.  And we do, everyday.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A Little Photo Fun in 2010

Here's something fun I will be doing in 2010.  It's 365 Days in Pictures. The concept is to take and post one photo a day for the entire year of 2010.  I am pretty sure I can manage this and I really feel it will be a fun project to attempt.  The extra bonus is that this can act as an added addition to our blog, journal, and memories for a lifetime!

Made It Through

Well, we made it through Christmas and a birthday to boot.  This year was exhausting, adjusting to new schedules and trying to keep the girls routine enough that they did not have any set-backs.  In the end, everything turned out well though.

The kids got out of school on December 18th and have been playing non-stop ever since.  Things were pretty calm all week, until Thursday came.  Christmas Eve.  The kids were sooo excited.  That night we had our Christmas party at a family friend's house and we opened our gifts.  The kids really enjoyed it but the late night and over-exciting day made Laycie very fussy.  I think she was a little overwhelmed but she slept fairly good that night.

When we got home the kids and I finished cookies for Santa.  We wrote him notes and set his cookies and milk out underneath our little tree.  Then we went outside to throw out reindeer feed (oatmeal, crushed up cookies and hot cocoa).  "This is to help the deer find our house," Emmalee said.

After feeding the reindeer, we came in and read a few things on the computer.

The first was Selma Lagerlof's The Holy Night.  This is the story of a man (Joseph) in search of a heat source to keep his wife and babe (Mary and Jesus) warm.  It tells how he was turned away continously and how he found one shepherd, which he amazed, that reluctantly agreed to help him.  In the end, Joseph found heat and the shepherd's eyes were opened to the Glory and Amazement of God's world.

The second story we read was the famous editorial by Francis Pharcellus Church: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.  This editorial was first published in "The Sun" newspaper as an answer to 8 year old Virginia's question, "Is there a Santa Claus?".  After all, "Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so.""  The editor goes on to answer, little Virginia's question, stating that "Yes, there is a Santa Claus", though he may not be seen, he lives in the heart of all.  This is the joy of Christmas.

The third and last story of our night was 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, A visit from Saint Nicolas by Clement Clark Moore.  This cute little story tells of the thrill of Santa's appearance, both physical and emotional, and brings joy to the heart of all who read it. 

It was at this point of our night that Winston realized it was "late!" and decided we MUST head to bed.  So that's just what we did.

Christmas morning came with me waking the kids at 6:30 am.  They were happy to see that Santa left them a wonderful note and some really great gifts.  They did not get a lot, but they have really enjoyed what they have gotten.  Winston got Transformers, a Tractor/Trailer car, some airplanes, a Scooby movie and two ds games.  Emmalee got Barbie, Mulan Barbie, two ds games, a Scooby movie and a Littlest Pet Shop doctor's kit thing.  Laycie got a toy cell phone, a babydoll, linking rings, linking heads, and wooden blocks.  They all got the traditional stocking and this year it even included some "coal" chocolate candy. 

Around 11am, we went to Grami's and opened gifts, then went to eat at 1pm at MaMaw's to open more gifts.  Afterwards, we all came home to nap, then got up again to eat leftovers before our day was through.  The kids were pretty exhausted and so were Mom and Dad. 

On Saturday, (the day after Christmas) Winston and Emmalee went to visit their Dad.  They enjoyed their time with him and they were able to see both their Great-Grandmothers, which I am thankful for. 

Sunday, we rested, though we did go to MaMaw's to eat Sunday dinner.

Monday was Winston's 9th birthday.  It seems like yesterday that I carried him in my tummy.  I can hardly believe 9 years have gone so fast.  He had a great day and was extremely patient.  MaMaw made him a cake and everyone brought him presents.  He got clothes to lounge in and a nice suit, some fun things, and a couple of DS games.  He loved his homemade chocolate cake and his choice of pizza for dinner.  After the party, everyone relaxed in the living room and watched Sinbad (the cartoon) on tv.  It made for a really nice night.

So, here we are at today, Tuesday.  Today we are cleaning house and relaxing after the busy, busy week before the kids have to go back to school next Monday.  I have a lot to catch up with but it will all happen with time.  At least we have great family memories to enjoy!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tuesday Winter Blahs

It's Tuesday.  Mid-December.  Spent most of our day in the doctor's office.  Both girls have a cold and ear infection.  Emmalee's been running a fever and Laycie has been overly fussy.  The doctor looked them both over and sent us home with Amoxil for infection.  I have been praying for them.  Praying that God will relieve the pain that they are feeling and heal them quickly.  Poor sweet babies.  Emma's staying home again tomorrow just to make sure that the medicine is working before she goes to school on Thursday.  Definitely, going to school Thursday, though, because it is Christmas party day.  I would hate for her to miss that.  Socializing is so important to her.  Well, this is just a quick update.  Now off to do college online.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Thankful Mommy

The greatest word I have ever heard is the sound of my babies calling me Mommy.  There is nothing sweeter than their voices calling my name, even when I'm at my tiredest.  There is nothing better than their beautiful smiles when they see me coming to see or help them.  I am grateful.  Grateful for my three beautiful children.  Grateful that they are well-behaved.  Grateful for their love of God and their understanding of his Love and Lessons in our lives.  I appreciate this gift God has given to me.  I thank him for entrusting me with three of His greatest gifts, His children, to raise to gracious adults.  I can never thank Him enough for this, their blessing, to my life.  God's love does, and will always, amaze me.

This Week

The past week has flown by for us. 
It has been filled with:
  • 10,000 hugs and kisses. 
  • Snuggle time and family time. 
  • A lot of love
  • Snacks gallore
  • Video games, toys and Barbies play
  • Naps
  • Public school
  • Short homeschool lessons
  • Shopping for kids stuff
  • Visiting friends and family
In this week I have learned:
  • Love remains when all else is gone.
  • Toddlers never shut off.
  • Boy's are full of energy.
  • Girl's don't wear pants that look simular two days in a row.
  • We must have snacks morning, noon and night.
  • Baby goes to bed better when sis is in the room with her.
  • We love Pizza.
  • We love Yoohoo's.
  • We love cereal for breakfast.
  • Sitting in the back of a truck is AWESOME.
  • Riding in the truck is AWESOME.
  • We love our new Daddy.
  • We could not wait to be back home with our Mommy.
  • We dislike waking before dawn for school.
We have a lot to work on, a lot to figure out.  We have lots of work to do at home, in school and life but in the end it's more than worth it.  And we can do it, together!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

My Simple Woman's Daybook

I found the Simple Woman's Daybook through my friend's blog and thought I'd give it a try. It seemed like a fun thing to do. You can find the outline for this blog idea at:

For Today:
November 30, 2009


Outside my window... the ground is muddy and wet.

I am thinking about... what fun things to do when the kids come in from school today.

I am thankful for... God's greatest blessing for me: My Children.

From my learning... I am realizing that I have chosen a decent career field of study.

From the kitchen... I am thinking of making my sausage mix meal for dinner.

I am wearing... jeans and Josh's sweatshirt because it was quick and comfy to put on this morning.

I am creating... a home for my babies to grow up in.

I am going... to pick the kids up from the school bus stop around 1pm today.

I am reading...material for my research paper on my career for school.

I am hoping... for my kids to change their minds about public school soon.

I am hearing... the strong winds blowing outside the house.

Around the house... I have a mess to clean up, clothes to get put away and dishes to wash.  But I wouldn't change it for anything in this world!!!

One of my favorite things... is the smell of my babies sweet head.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

Wednesday: Get kids off bus at 1pm and spend afternoon with them.
Thursday: Grocery shopping with Mamaw, Breakfast out; work on research paper for college.

Friday: Date with Josh, College; time with kids

Saturday: Take the kids to the Dixie Stampede for dinner.  Meet with some friends to get some clothes for the kids.
Sunday: Church, Family time
Monday: Kids back to school, clean up house from weekend.
Tuesday: Work more on house.

Here is a picture thought I'm sharing:

Wordless Wednesday

It has been an extremely busy week for us, as we finally have the kids back home after 5 long months of praying and struggling while seperated.  God has truly given us the best Christmas present in the world!

Here is today's Wordless Wednesday picture:

Photo of us all together - minus Josh who was working.  Kids are so excited to be home.  Laycie is thrilled to have Mommy again.  And Justain's excited to have a new sister and a brother (finally) to play with!  Life is GREAT!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wordless Wednesday

Trying the Wordless Wednesday format today.  Not sure where this originates from but if anyone knows or if I need to link back please feel free to let me know!  Thanks!!!

Home Sweet Home

I took this photo on our property in Georgetown, SC a little over a month ago.  I find this area so peaceful and I feel more at home here every day.  There is nothing like HOME!

Monday, November 30, 2009

My Simple Woman's Daybook

I found the Simple Woman's Daybook through my friend's blog and thought I'd give it a try. It seemed like a fun thing to do. You can find the outline for this blog idea at The Simple Woman's Daybook.

For Today:

November 30, 2009

Outside my window the trees are changing colors.

I am thinking about my children and wondering how their lives are changing daily.

I am thankful for God's many blessings in keeping them safe and sound.

From my learning I am realizing that I can manage to learn something new even as I grow older.

From the kitchen, deer sausage was for dinner and I think it turned out well.

I am wearing my Mother is Another Word for Love shirt and shorts because it's warm inside and I'm don't feel well.

I am creating ornaments for christmas, redecorating the house, and creating many thoughts in my blogs.

I am going to bed before much longer. Busy day tomorrow.

I am reading many different things online lately.

I am hoping for my kids to come home to live with me soon.

I am hearing the movie I've been wanting to watch on television.

Around the house, I have a lot to do. Christmas to finish, dishes to wash, rooms to paint and laundry to get done.

One of my favorite things, is hot cocoa in the Winter time.

A few plans for the rest of the week:
Tuesday: Shopping with Ms. Jean, Parenting Class in the afternoon
Wednesday: Cleaning house, Paint coat 2 in the bathroom
Thursday: Grocery shopping with Mamaw, Breakfast out
Friday: Date with Josh, College
Saturday: Family Time, painting in the house
Sunday: Church, Family time

Here is a picture thought I'm sharing:

Monday, November 16, 2009

New Love, New Life - The story of Josh and I

I have to start this by saying that even though the last few months have been hard and I miss my kids terribly every day, they have also been some of the best months in my life.

When I first came back to the Myrtle Beach area, I was unsure what to do. I floated from friend to friend for a while. I became depressed because I did not have my children with me and the pain of missing them was just awful. I started to go back to my old life but at the same time I just knew I would not be happy there, no matter how hard I tried to be. All of my dear friends tried to keep me going, to cheer me up, but that's hard to do when you know there is a huge part of your life missing. I kept going for my children and I prayed every day for God's guidance and answers for my life.

While I was floating around I looked for a job. Needless to say, the economy is not the best right now and finding a job is not an easy task. I did get hired back at my old seasonal job cleaning condos, one day a week and that was at least a little pay to help provide for myself. I helped out friends with work they needed done, and kept on going as well as I could.

I was in college online at this time but due to all of the stress I was under I was unable to continue my studies. I ended up withdrawing from school because of it all. It was around this time that I found out that my mother had contacted DSS and was trying to take my children. I felt so lost and hurt and angry at that point, not so much with my mother as with God.

I prayed every day. I didn't feel that it was really doing any good but I kept on praying regardless. I kept remembering the scripture that says all you need is the faith of a mustard seed. Boy, I can tell you that was about the size of my faith at that time in my life. Somedays it still feels like it is.

So, here I was floating along in my life, trying to keep my head above the water, thankful to my great friends who literally took care of me, though they never had to. I was looking to God for answers, for something, for His plan for my life. I knew he had brought me out of the Hell I was in. I knew he had something better in store. In my heart I knew these things. I could feel Him telling me.

One night I received a message, after asking God what he wanted of me. It was from a dear friend, who said "I have someone I want you to meet". I did NOT want to meet anyone at that time of many failures. I did NOT think I was deserving of meeting anyone good or that I was ever going to find anyone who was good. I thought I have had enough of this failure at relationships and love, God intends me to walk this life alone, with just Him and one day my children again. So my dear friend told me, "just talk to him and see what happens". I did what she asked.

I tried several days to talk to this person she had asked me to meet. I kept asking God "what are your plans for me... just, please, tell me Lord". The guy seemed like a good person. He was hard working, he had a son he loved. He, too, had been hurt too many times in love. But I was determined that I was not interested in having another relationship with anyone, no matter how great they seemed. I had loved too many wolves in sheeps clothing and I was not looking to fall prey to that again.

So he asked me out and I put him off, then at the last minute I backed out. I, seriously, did not want a relationship at all. But God was working on me, without my knowledge. God knew what I needed most in my life and He knew what His plan is for me. That night, instead of being online talking to me, he went out with his friends and well, frankly, I missed him. I wondered what he was up to and I wished I had not told him no about going on a date. Like I said, God was working.

Saturday came and my new friend messaged me first thing when he got online that day. He had a busy day planned but he was still interested in talking to me, even though I had turned him down for a date the night before. We talked a few minutes and he decided to take the chance and ask me to go walk on the beach with him. I was torn. I did not want to go but at the same time I could feel God telling me to give him a chance. So I said yes. He came later that night to meet me and take me for a walk on the beach. We had a great time on our walk and now I am so glad that we met.

It seems like forever since that walk on the beach. It was the turning point for my life, just the change that I needed. I believe in my heart that this is finally the life that God intended for me. That he sent Joshua Lambert to me when I needed him the most.

Josh is a simple country boy. He loves hunting, being on the water, playing in the mud and most of all his family, especially his son. He's laid back and a kid at heart but he's also extremely hard-working and respectful of his elders. He's supportive and caring. He's so much more than I could ever describe here. And I knew from the moment I first looked into his eyes, the moment he walked up my steps in Little River, SC, to take me for that walk on the beach, that he was the man for me.

I'm blessed. I'm blessed to have three wonderful, beautiful children. I'm blessed to have a handsome 31 year old man that loves me. I'm blessed to have a wonderful, handsome future step-son to love, who also loves me. I'm blessed that God has finally given me the life and the family that He has chosen for me and I am so thankful every day for them all!

I am once again enrolled in college. Josh's Mom has been the driving force in getting my kids back. His Mamaw has become one of my best friends. His sister always brings a smile to my face and Justain a laugh, with his silly moments. I have the best friends a girl could ask for (you know who you are). All I can say is Life is good today.<3

Been a while - the explanation

It's been a while since I updated this blog. I started this blog as a way to share my life, my kids lives and my hopes for our future. There has been so much going on in my life that I haven't felt up to updating. It's been a long few months, full of changes and disappointments, as well as excitement and new life for us all.

After my trip to Myrtle Beach, I went back home to Inman, SC and realized that I was missing my family back in Myrtle Beach a lot and I was not as happy as I should have been in Inman. I am not going to go into the details at this time but I will say I was painting a picture of life that just wasn't really so. I came back to Myrtle Beach in June 2009 and have been here every since.

Many people have different opinions on the choices that I have made in the last few months. I just want to say that everyone is intitled to their opinion, everyone is intitled to their judgements, but let those without sin be the first stone-thrower. I am not personally a stone-thrower so I will shush about it now.

So, in the last few months, I have done what I felt best for my family. Some of you know the gory details (which, really, aren't so gory), some of you don't and assume that you do. I have lost many friends over this time period just because they couldn't or didn't try or didn't want to try to understand the situation.

The truth is I wasn't happy. I left my beautiful children behind in Inman while I came back to find a place for them because I felt it was the best option for them. I left them with the woman I trusted most, my mother, though many, many people (including their father) had told me not to. Needless to say he was right, I should have never trusted her and that is possibly the only thing in my life I will ever regret.

My mother has always been against me homeschooling my children. She thinks I am giving them terrible lives and can not see the bigger picture of how much better their lives will be in the end of their years of being homeschooled. So when I left my kids with her, she took the first opportunity to contact DSS about my "educational neglect" and has painted a very deceptive picture of me to ensure that she has control of my children. And at this time she does. I have spent the last 2 months trying to make DSS understand that my children were not educationally neglected and not in danger from being with me, to no real avail. But the end of that is coming soon, my friends.

So now I am battling with DSS from across the state of SC, trying to get my three beautiful children returned to me. I have been drug through the mud with this. My children get limited time to talk to me, due to the space between us and the problems between me and the people I trusted to leave them with. But I am not giving up. As one of my good friends said to me today, I am determined. Determined to have my children. Determined to raise them as I see fit, as their mother. Determined to never give up hope, in God, in Life, in my beautiful babies.

I read all the other blogs from parents online and think, "how lucky they are to have their children". I think if only I had not made the one mistake of trusting the person I thought loved me most in this world to take care of my children in my time of need. I've gone through the "why Lord?", the "how could you allow this to happen to me?", all of it. I know it's because I trusted in the wrong person, a frail human, who is unsure if God even exsists at times. I know it happened to me to teach me to appreciate my babies, to love every moment with them even more, to never take them for granted again. I know there are reasons I can not even fathom at this time, but they are God's reasons for allowing this to happen to my life and I am thankful to Him for loving me, for teaching me, and for guiding me through all of the seasons of my life.

I hope this someone sheds some light on the situation to those wondering why in the world I don't just go get my babies. Or what I did so wrong to not be able to have them. I only made one simple mistake. But I can promise it is one I will never make again.

God bless all who make it through to the end of this post! <3


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