Tuesday, May 24, 2011

10 Things About Me

It's been a long day.  I've had the feeling of Satan breathing over my shoulder all day.  Not a pretty experience.  It's lead to some serious misunderstandings and well, drama.

That brings me to this post.  I feel I should be honest, and I should truly let you know me.  I warn you that it's not at all pretty.  I mean I am Human!  I can almost feel yall shudder at that statement!  I shudder myself.

Human - there I said it again.  I am HUMAN.  I am NOT PERFECT. 

I have opinions, like all humans.  Opinions I have formed after being on this massive planet for the last 31 (almost 32) years.  Should any of us be faulted for that?  Nope, we are all imperfect according to the word of the Bible.

I know not all of my friends believe in God or the Bible but I do so bear with me, please.  I know yall are my true friends so you already do, though I'm sure you think some of my thoughts about "God" are bogus nonsense.  I never know because you never tell me, just as I try not to do you.  I appreciate that respect.

So, I'm getting off-track in my message.  There are some things you should know about me that I probably should have thrown out there a while back.

1.  I'm a recovering Dramatic.  That's right, I can admit it!  I have been known to be quite the Dramatic in my past.  I still suffer this issue at times.  It's something you have to learn to overlook.  People who really know me will tell you it's not as bad as it once was.  I fight the urge to be a Drama Queen often, daily in fact.  I have learned to put away the crown and just let life be over the years.  But there are days, like this one in fact, that it's just soooo very had to do! 

2.  I can sometimes be selfish.  Oh, another one I can admit to! ;-) I don't fall prey to this one as much now that I have my children.  In fact, I tend to be more selfless than anything.  I put my children and their wants first.  I put other's needs first most days too.  Funny how having children really will change you!

3.  I speak my mind.  Not nearly as much as I once did but if I believe in it, I speak it.  I do my best to think about who could be hurt by things I say but sometimes I miss.  I remind you of my earlier comment that I am human. 

4.  I am not afraid or ashamed to stand up for what I believe in.  This goes along with number 3: I speak my mind.  If you hurt someone I care about I will let you know.  If I disagree with you I will let you know.  If I have an opinion on something I will let you know.

5.  I am HONEST.  It's a quality missing in many folks these days.  If you don't want an honest answer, then perhaps you shouldn't ask me.  As I said, I will tell you what I think and what I believe in.  I will make an honest effort not to hurt your feelings, to listen to how God tells me to breach a comment or thought to you, but it will be an honest opinion.  I do my best to take in both sides to form an unbiased opinion too.

6.  Sometimes I curse.  Yes I'm Christian but no I'm not perfect.  I try not to but sometimes I do it.  Reminds me to be thankful that God forgives!

7.  I am Christian.  I am not a devout, bible smacking, "you're going to hell because _______" type of Christain.  I am a meager, little soul who loves God and Jesus and the Holy Ghost.  I pray hard for those who cross my thoughts.  I ask forgiveness for all in Jesus' name.  I try to follow God's rules and I do my best NOT to judge others for any reason, though sometimes I do fail (I am human).  I believe God uses me for His Good and I try to allow him to do that.

8.  I am a homeschooling Mom and it's something I push for other's to enjoy.  I admit it's not right for everyone but many simply miss out.  This makes me sad for the parent and their beautiful children.  I chose homeschooling because my daughters both have Epilepsy and my son is ADHD.  I knew they wouldn't get the education and attention they needed in Public School.  Our educational choice is Eclectic and Unschooling, varied throughout the year.  I know some will disagree with our method but the beauty is that it is our choice.

9.  I like being old-fashioned in my beliefs.  I like having tradition.  I put God first, my fiance second (no we aren't married) into the place of my husband and my children third.  I think of them all pretty much as being first though in some way. 

10.  I learn I'm wrong on my own.  I don't need you to "tell" me I'm right or wrong.  I have a bigger God to do that for me!  And trust me, he lets me know!  You cannot convey nearly what he can.  I simply won't listen. 

So those are 10 things you probably didn't know about me but now you do!  If any of this changes how you feel about me, that's ok!  I love yall anyways. 

Monday, May 23, 2011

Planning for my Future

I'm doing a lot of reviewing in my life.  I sometimes get a little sidetracked due to Life but I'm trying to stay focused.  Often it's hard to do.  I blame it on being a Gemini but I'm sure there are more contributors too.

Somethings I need to change in life are:
1. Going to bed late.
2. Getting up late (due to going to bed late).
3. Eating healthier.
4. Home management aka cleaning house.
5. Educational development.
6. Reading for blog reviews.
7. Researching information for more structured blog posts.
8. Last but NEVER least, reading encouraging Christian things that strengthing my relationship with God.  This includes reading my Bible, which I don't dread nearly as much as I once did.

Next step is figuring out where to start. 

At this time I feel a good place is to instill a decent bedtime and wake up time.  And also work on reading encouraging things that bring me closer in my relationship with God.  I want to be a blessing to the Lord, to do His work, as He intends and to help other's with His divine guidance. 

This week I will work on these things.  I will also work on setting out a plan for home management and education, as well as reviews and blog research and posting. 

I feel that if I can establish a decent sleep pattern my days will flow better.  I also feel that having a strong relationship with God is the most important thing I can do for my children and myself.  After managing these things the rest should fall into place.  I suppose with time we will see what happens.
<3

Naptime

Today naptime for my little Three Frog was in my bed.  Somedays she likes to burrow her sweet blonde head deep into her Daddy's pillow, snuggle into his blanket and snooze.  Today she is doing all of these, with 5 blankets covering her tiny body.  She loves her soft blankets.

As I watch her sleeping, I realize just how tiny and fragile she is.  Such a precious gift from God.  Each time she shakes and twitches, my heart fears the unknown.

It's been 9 months since her last seizure.  Her last checkup went well.  We raised her medicine dosage to be sure no breakthroughs would occur.  They haven't.  But we never know.

Each twitch reminds me of that.  Each jerking of her tiny, fragile, precious body reminds me of this disorder that haunts our life, our family. 

I pray.

I pray for the convulsions to be past.  I pray for the Epilepsy to simply disappear.  I pray for the days of medicating to control seizures to be over with.  I pray for a cure for all those who suffer as she does. 

My heart tells me not to worry, that all will be well with us.  My human mind doubts, and worries, and wonders will it ever end?  And if not, what then? 

We continue through our days: medicating, praying, loving, snuggling, homeschooling, whatever it takes to make it through to the next one.  Hoping everyday for the same results as I have had, as her sister has had, that all symptoms will just dissappear into something manageable, something liveable. 

Only time will tell if we will get this wish.  Only God Himself knows if it will truly end.  A mustard seed of Faith is all I need to get us through but thankfully I have an abundance of Trust and Faith in God's Great Work that someday this will all be over for her and she will no longer suffer from a disorder she cannot control.

<3

May Update

The month of May hasn't brought much for us to update.  This weekend has probably been the busiest for us all month.

At the beginning of the month we got a new family member.  Emmalee's AKC registered Labrador which she named Emmalee's Lord Hunter Lee.  He's a cutie pie but a real handfull.  I don't think babies are this troublesome! LOL

Last weekend we went to Georgetown's Infamous Harborwalk, town festival.  We saw lots of vendors, recieved a few samples and enjoyed Icees and ice cold fresh Lemonade.  Afterwards, we enjoyed a cookout of hamburgers and hotdogs at home.

The rest of the month hasn't been at all exciting.  The weather cannot make up its mind between cold, hot and rain.  Though it has warmed up enough for the kids to go out and play.  The dogs enjoy that time too.

Of course, we all survived reports of the World's End and Zombie Attack this weekend too.  This reminded me to appreciate my days for what they are, joyous occasions shared with my children, for we do not know the day or the hour of the return, but we anxiously await the Lord's arrival.  Until then we must live life to the fullest and that is exactly what I plan to do! <3

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Life's Path

Lately, I've been helping Josh's Grandma clean her house.  She's 80 and not able to do much of the things she used to.  So I have taken to being her arms and her assistant.

Today, as I was cleaning her end tables in her living room, I discovered tons of pictures of her family.  Many, of course, were of Josh.  It was interesting to see his life in photos.  To see how blessed his life has been and even seeing his life change throughout the years.

There are times when I wonder about how my life would have been if I had grown up in Georgetown, where I was born and where my Dad lived.  My family was here: my brother, sisters, Grandparents, my Dad.  I missed out on those things.

I also missed out on growing up with Josh.  We would have attended the same schools, been in the same classrooms, ended up near each other in alphabetical order.  We would have known each other well before we were blessed to meet.

I know my life wasn't meant to turn out that way, that God intended other things.  I also know that God places us on paths that seemingly change, only to make us stronger and bring us straight back to the point he intended in the first place.  Looking at those simple photos today made me realize once again that God is never wrong and He does know what He's doing.

Life isn't always easy and certainly my life with Josh is not always easy.  But it's life and it's better than I could have ever hoped for.  Ten years ago, I could not have imagined I would be living in Georgetown, a place I had come to avoid because of my Father.  I could not have imagined I would even be happy here.  But here I am, happy and in love. 

As I drove home from Grandma's today, I realized that I finally feel at home.  For the first time in 5 years, since my life turned upside down by the death of my Daddy, my stepfather, that I am at Home.  Most people take this feeling for granted. 

We do not always know what God intends as we head out onto life's path with only Faith in our hearts, but God does.  He knows where He leads each of our steps and though we may stumble, fall and sway sometimes, He will always get us right where He wants us to be.  His Love blesses our lives.  His Love gives us Joy and Happiness and Love that we can find no where but in His arms.  Home - it's where Life's path always leads us.  I'm thankful for being so blessed. <3

Blogging Rocks!

Ok. Truth.

I enjoy blogging.
I enjoy seeing new faces in my friends list online.
I enjoy sharing my life with those new faces, and letting them get to know us better.
I enjoy getting to know those new faces better too.
I love writing, though it's not always easy or flowing or something I have time to do.

In 10th grade, my English teacher suggested I become a writer.  On that day, I thought he was absolutely crazy, had completely lost his mind.  I'm talking NUTS was this man.  On this day, I'm thinking ok, maybe he knew me better than I gave him credit for.

There are days when I burn to write.  When all my thoughts jumble up and fight to see who comes out on top.  Today's winner: blogging and writing! LOL

Oh I enjoy reading too.  Reading about moments in other's lives.  Reading funny messages.  Reading statuses, both good and bad.  Seeing photos that match the sweetest and not so sweet moments in life.  It's modern day letter writing at it's best.  Quick, easy and so much joy.

Someone recently asked me why people want to put such things online.  My answer: why not?  Why not share your life, touch others, build friendships you wouldn't have any other way?  Why not share the good and the bad with those that come in life with those who care about you?  Why not recieve support that would otherwise be lacking in your life, by allowing others to see you at both your best and your weakest?  Isn't sharing the love what God intended for us all?  To help each other through, hold each other up, pray for one another.  Weren't these things all God's intention in allowing us to live? 

I am often thankful for this little connection that allows me to share and support others.  I have shared God's word and love many times thanks to the internet and blogging.  Sometimes big blessings come in small packages that lead to bigger things.  And in my opinion, blogging rocks! <3

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