Saturday, April 20, 2013

Expectations of Home

I have to admit I was raised by a perfectionist.  My Mother was and still is an amazing woman but she expected her house to be almost "perfect".  I grew up having to follow her strict rules of "put it back in it's place" and "do it my way".

Those of you who know me probably know that I was my Momma's problem child and biggest challenge. We have butted heads many times over the years.  She wants a home that showcases her favorite possessions and looks like a magazine cover.  I want a home that is functional and lived in. I have a hard time getting her to comprehend the difference.

To me, it's important that everything have it's place but that everything in my home is functional and is used for a purpose.  As a homeschooler, I need my space organized for that "classroom" aspect of our days.  As a Mom, I need it to be functional for four fast growing kids who are home every single day.

Now, what my Mother thinks should not effect how my home is run in a normal family but in my family it does.  Since she lives directly behind us and her job is to help me with my children daily, she is often in and out of my home.  She straightens, directs children, helps with meal prep, puts things away as needed, give baths.  Basically, she is an extension of myself and it's a wonderful thing until you realize just how opposite we are in our expectations.

There are days when I get so fed up with choosing a place for things to go and organizing my home it to fit my family to then find it reorganized or out of place because Mom felt it belonged elsewhere, that I find myself doing nothing in my home except the essentials.  With a family of essentially eight and two dogs, this doesn't work well for me.  It leaves my home in a bigger mess than I started out with.

As a Mom of a smaller large family, I can tell you that missing one day of tasks, chores, and household duties leaves us in a much bigger mess than we began with.  Things quickly get out of hand and then it can take days to get caught back up, leaving future plans amiss in the process.  So I strive to do my best not to let us get behind.

My children have daily chores, like laundry and dishes, that they complete to help out.  If the routine is kept fairly well missing one day doesn't hurt but it does mean double the work for the next day.  Missing more than one day leaves us struggling to catch it all back up so I can tell you that doesn't happen often.

I don't currently use a schedule but it's something I really do need to implement in our home.  I probably need to create several lists too but this idea is a new one for me so it's something I'm learning as I go along.  Since my Mother and I are basically total opposites in home management, her ideas don't necessarily work for me, so suggestions from her aren't always helpful.

I really feel for you Momma's that have a bigger family than I do!  You are a true inspiration.  I often take ideas and suggestions from you to fit into our own home.  So if any of you are reading this, please do share in a comment some things that you do to make your homes more manageable for the rest of us who struggle with this daily.

I know I'm on my way in this home organization process but some days it feels that goal is so far away from me - lightyears to be exact.  I want a home that is suitable and happy.  One day I hope that I will get there.

1 comment:

  1. Dana, so funny, my mom and I were so opposite as well. Luckily, I didn't have her in my hair every day. She died last year; we were just beginning to accept our differences in the last few years. It sounds like you have an incredible love and respect for your mother despite your differences. Cherish even the irritations, one day you will find yourself missing even those.

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