Jackson had another seizure last night. It honestly terrified me. I was afraid it wasn't going to stop. He hasn't had a seizure that bed in months.
The circumstances were the same. He got upset and boom, the seizure took over after he hyperventilated. Then he was just out.
This one lasted over 5 minutes and took 5mgs of Diastat to stop. I used up his 2.5 shots because I wanted to see just how much it would take to get it under control. It took both of them, equaling 5 mgs. I did the first one and it did nothing - the seizure was still going full on. I administered the second dose and the seizure stopped within a few seconds.
I have to admit - I was so afraid he'd slip away from me right then. I was terrified he would not stop shaking. His whole body was out of control, shaking from his head to his sweet baby toes.
It hit me that this may be our daily life. We may never have full control for him. Ever. And that seriously scares the Hell out of me.
As a Mom, I'm worn out with this. I'm struggling to keep up and just enjoy my days without letting Epilepsy control our lives. I'm thankful that I have my Mother to help me because I seriously don't know what I would do without her or my older kids for that matter. They are also a huge help through this.
I asked online for help obtaining a monitor for the kids room. I need one to even hear the EmFit on Laycie's bed and it would be wonderful to be able to see her while she sleeps and her brother as well. It's hard to even leave their side knowing what may happen - that it may be the last time I ever see them alive again. A video monitor will allow us that peace of mind.
My dear friend Jo Pair Reaves shared my plight. She is an Epilepsy Momma of two handsome young men. She understands very well just what our family goes through every day because she lives it. Thanks to Jo, we have had a few anonymous donors step up to help us obtain monitors for the kids. I cannot express how very thankful I am! I have thought about this for so long and now it's happening. I feel so absolutely blessed!
So if you are reading this, please know how thankful I am for the kind gift you have given to us. After our terrible night, this has been such a blessing for us today. I'm so thankful - more than any words could ever express.