One week to go...
In one week my life will change. My ability to go forth and multiply will be gone. My heart will never be the same.
I'm trying to remain positive but it's hard. Monday we go for my ultrasound to see what's causing my bleeding. My doctor feels uterine fibroids but won't know for sure until the ultrasound.
Having my children has been a blessing. I never imagined I would be sitting here waiting for my uterus to be removed. I never imagined there would not be a chance to have "just one more" baby.
I know I'm blessed to have four beautiful children. I know many women aren't as lucky as me. Still this is part of me that I don't wish to let go of. And yet, I know to continue to enjoy my life with my children and family, I need to have this hysterectomy done.
I look forward to playing with my kids, to camping, to learning, to enjoying our day to day life again. I look forward to not having to worry about having extra clothes "just in case" or how much blood am I going to lose before it stops again. I look forward to not having worry, to just being able to enjoy life and worry about the little things, like paying a bill or buying the kids that new movie they've been wanting to see.
In one week, I will be coming out of surgery and stuck in a bed for 12 hours or more. I will no longer have my uterus and may not have a cervix or ovaries depending on what they find. In one week, I will barely be able to move from the pain of losing an important part of my body. In one week, my life will be forever changed, hopefully for the better.